Prosecutors will be Violated
There's this garbage can at our apartment building, right by the mailbox. It's a convenient location, and I'm sure it would be even more so if I ever checked the mail. (Instead, I throw away my bills after my roommates bring them up to me.)
On top of this garbage can is a paper sign, taped on, that tells me that I can only put paper (for recycling) in this garbage can. Now, I don't have anything against recycling. It's not one of the things that I think is a big deal, but when people feel like going out of their way to recycle, I can respect that. The problem I have with this thing is the statement, "Violators will be prosecuted." I can't believe that the Management would actually take legal action against anyone who dirties up the recycle bin. I mean, if they'd have asked nicely, I'm sure I would have complied. I mean, I realize I'm not the nicest guy around, but I do my best to not walk on the grass and not smoke when I'm asked. But seriously, who can blame a guy for throwing a plastic bottle into a can that's labeled like this? It's like they're daring me to do it. I say that if they get a good wad of gum in there, or, say, a shoe, every now and then, that it's their own fault.
posted by bryant-man @ 4:24 PM
9 Comments:
What's the word for being blatantly disobedient for the sole purpose of spiting someone? Star and I can't think of one, so I'm settling on "buttface."
B, don't be a buttface.
That wasn't actually put there by the management, and trust me now that we know who you are, you will be violated.
good call. all around.
I think you should put a TV in there...remember when the yatzee dice almost made you throw your TV out the window. That was awesome.
The funniest thing is that the bottom of the page is all links to recycling fundraisers.
The funniest thing is that the bottom of the page is all links to recycling fundraisers.
just notices this post. recycling does no actual good for the world, besides making us feel good about ourselves. it uses more energy, costs more, and creates just as much waste.
Oh, I put that garbage can there. I thought that was a catchy phrase, but I never though anyone noticed it, but B, your astuteness continues to impress me.
Two things:
1. The reason I put it there is because (a) I found an extra container when I moved in and (b) I hated all the junkmail that just piled up on the ground, so I provided a repository.
2. If you put, for example, a TV in there, you are not in any immediate danger. Your prosecutor is in fact the one in danger of being violated.
Chain of Events:
*B disposes of Non-paper Thing
*Prosecutor prosecutes B
*Prosecutor gets Violated (note the absence of B in that last step)
Intimidatingly,
The Management
PS
Don't worry - none of that paper was ever recycled. It was all dumped, without exception, in the Enclave dumpster
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